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America the Beautiful
You may think it's just women who are obsessed with beauty, but every single one of us can have a positive or negative impact on someone's self-esteem.
In almost 40,000 media messages a year, America's youth are being told unless you look like a supermodel or rock star, you're not good enough for anyone to love. Too many people are buying this message.
The United State of America is known for being one of the wealthiest nations on the planet with the most opportunities for its citizens. In 2006, Americans spent $35 billion (yes, billion!) on cosmetic surgery. Marketdata, a market research firm that has tracked diet products and programs since 1989 releases its findings in its biennial study: "The U.S. Weight Loss & Diet Control Market," which in its 2007 study estimates the size of the U.S. weight loss market at $55 billion. It is now estimated to have reached over $80 Billion. (2010)
I'm aware the majority of you are men and probably not directly affected by this obsession. However, I feel everyone in our community has a responsibility for doing their part to reverse this obsession. Dave and Michael have daughters. Others have wives, girlfriends, or sisters.
What is your personal definition of beauty? Remember when we talked about Beauty vs. Brains? Does your definition of beauty include descriptors of how someone walks and presents her or himself? Think of a very close friend, that includes spouse. What qualities make that person a close friend? Are these qualities great body, beautiful hair, tall and lean???
How can we begin to make a difference by reversing this obsession?
- Focus on health, not weight. There is a magazine titled Health. How many of its cover topics are directly about health? Be conscious about the impact of your language. Just as you probably wouldn't say, "Wow, you look great! How much weight have you gained?", don't comment on someone's weight. You might comment on someone looking good and ask if they've been on vacation. If you do a sport with the person, you could say, "You've gotten stronger!" Must feel good.
- Remember your mother saying "Beauty is only skin deep." Let people in your life know what you admire about them. What personality qualities? Try to focus on what makes them a good and caring person. YOU can help redefine "hot" as being someone who's confident and caring.
- Be aware of normal growth spurts. Children go through several growth spurts. Sometimes they gain weight before height. There's usually a spurt when a baby becomes a toddler. Another big change happens at puberty. It's not uncommon for an adolescent girl to gain 50 pounds during the puberty years. If no one makes an issue of it, the body, which is very smart and clever, evens everything out. Share with teens your own struggle with changes in your body during puberty. It's not just girls that struggle with body image and self-esteem during puberty. My son attained 5'5" at 12 or 13. I don't think he grew more than a couple of inches the next 2 years. He felt destined to be short his entire life. He looked at his dad who was 5'11" and thought "It's just not going to happen." During the first 4 months of his sophomore year he grew almost 6 inches.
As "Food for Thought" continue to update your definition of beauty. Look for ways you can make a difference.
- Focus on health, not weight.
- Tell people what personality qualities you admire about them.
- Help adolescents navigate through the changes in the body during puberty.
If you have any questions regarding these articles or are interested in scheduling a free phone consultation, I encourage you to contact me by phone at 650-854-4631. I look forward to speaking with you.
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