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Are Eating Disorders Preventable?
Many women — mothers being no exception — can be found somewhere along the continuum of body dissatisfaction and problem eating.
Fortunately, mothers often find they have an extra incentive to resolve their eating issues before they get any worse… They don't want to pass their problems on to their daughters!
Every mother wants her daughter to be happy. And the best way to prevent your child from developing an eating disorder is to be a positive role model.
When children learn to feel comfortable in their bodies — regardless of their shape or size — it can do wonders for their self-image, as well as detract from media and cultural stereotypes that are preoccupied with the need to look thin.
Becoming a Positive Role Model for Your Child
Your children grow up experiencing the discomfort or struggles you have with your own eating patterns and body image.
Unfortunately, parents who mean well but have not dealt with their own feelings about eating behaviors and weight issues can start to make comments about the amount of food their child is eating or their child's size.
As a parent, you must approach the subject of food and eating behaviors with your children very carefully.
When children or adolescents hear comments like "big butt" or "thunder thighs" it can be mortifying. And wounds to a child's self-image can be difficult to repair.
As adolescence approaches, these words can haunt a child and a cycle of weight loss and gain can emerge. This is how anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorders often begin.
If you're concerned about your child's weight, emphasize their health.
When your child grows up learning that junk food is "bad" and healthy food is "good," they can spend a lifetime battling over what foods they're "allowed" to eat. A typical cycle of being "good," rebelling, punishing themselves, and then being good again occurs as these children grow into adulthood tortured by this internal battle.
Encouraging healthy eating is much more constructive than discussing dieting or not allowing children to eat certain foods. There are no "good" or "bad" foods. It is vital that you make all food good to eat at certain times and teach your children how different foods are important for one's physical and psychological health.
As with food, you must also be a good role model when it comes to physical activity.
If you want your children to be active, planning physical activities for the whole family is much more beneficial than criticizing your kids for spending too many hours at the computer or telling them they need to spend more time outside and be active.
It is also important to help your children understand that a natural part of growing up is the constant physical change their bodies go through as they get older.
Lastly, it is important for you to help your children understand that the people they see in the media are not the norm and that these people have often sacrificed their mental and physical health in order to look the way they do or that their "perfection" is a result of computer imaging.
Remember to be Compassionate
Most importantly of all, remember to be compassionate with yourself and your children.
Food, eating, and weight are difficult and complicated issues for many of us.
If your child wants to go on a diet, spend some time asking her questions about what her objective is and why. For some adolescents, losing weight can feel like the solution to other problems. Help her to separate her weight from the social and emotional issues she's experiencing.
Thankfully, most parents understand the importance of their child's happiness regardless of their child's physical weight or appearance. And, if you're reading this, it's obvious you want your children to have healthy self-esteem and a positive outlook on life.
Of course, wanting to be a positive role model for your child is often easier said than done!
If you want to make sure you're a positive role model for your child and find yourself concerned about your own habits and feelings about food or your weight, it's never too late to do some self-assessment and see how you can be the best parent possible by example.I encourage you to call me at 650-854-4631 with any questions you have about the eating disorder assessment and prevention services I offer parents, or to schedule a free, initial phone consultation.
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